If you're a fan of KH, then you know that we often have visitors in the shop. It's a neighborhood home to ladies and a select few men. One of which is my good friend Zac Clark (Side note: I apologize to the customer who had to hear him tell me a rather graphic story the other day!). We met back in college when he was a sober D&D player and I was a snotty rugby player. He's often found hanging around the shop, commenting on female fashion and sipping at a Mountain Dew (you'd think I sold comics here or something).
So one day during a particularly long tangent about Williamsburg girls looking like nerdy graphic novel heroes, I interrupted him and said, "You know, I hate to admit it, but you have a point. Want to write a blog for the shop about it?" And that is how this blog post was born. So, without further ado, I introduce you to the rantings of my special friend Mr. Clark:
Right I know what you're thinking. Zac Clark, you're a
Rock Blogger what the hay do you know about fashion? Oh ye of little faith. It's all connected... fashion, rock n roll, Photography, Dungeons & Dragons. No really, I kid you not. If you know me, and judging that you're still even reading this you must have some inkling of who I am, then you know, I'm a dice chucker, a card flopper, a mouse clicker as well as a head banger. So what do I know about fashion? And how does it relate to D&D?
Let me just start by saying that there's a growing trend that I'm not even sure most ladies out there are vaguely aware of. Geek Chic is in. For gents that means calculator watches, old plastic glasses, argyle socks... stuff your High school Latin teacher wore. That's all well and good, guy fashion is not why I'm writing this. Something way more exciting has been going around (like my ex girlfriend at a frat party). GIRLS ARE DRESSING LIKE RPG CHARACTERS! You heard it here first folks. Popular fashion is setting up the ultimate fanboy dream. Girls in
cosplay outfits, who are totally unaware they are dressed like sexy elves, barbarian chicks, evil sorceresses and the like.
Let's start at the top and work our way down. There's like a whole movement in the hairpin accessory market that's giving me cause to roll for awareness checks whenever I get on the train. Is that a dagger in your hair or are you just excited to see me? Turning everyone's girlfriend into a femme fatale with just a flick of the wrist. There's a whole knew meaning to the phrase "clever girl".
And let's not forget the hair, It seems like every dame these days is rocking the hair style I can only refer to as the "elf maiden". Something about bangs and the rest of the hair tied back at the nape of at girls neck screams "Bow Huntress".
Moving down to the neck. Natural jewelry has become this year's black. Animal teeth and claws with a touch of amber send my heart racing for the finish line and my eyes toward that plunging neckline. How to they do that? Dresses that dip to the low sternum say, "I need to remain untethered just in case I have to cast a fireball spell." Lady you've no need for evocation around me, your enchanted clothing emanates a lvl 20 charm magic that promises to keep me docile.
On to my favorite part. Little known fact, The Rocker Tycoon is a leg man. It's the one area where women and fried chicken win out every time. Jeans so tight they may be leggings, skirts that make no steady promises and in colors that distract even the more pious paladin.
Finally footwear, those crazy long boots that make you look like a buccaneer or the sandals with the straps that reach the high calf. Every girl's a superhero, or a min/maxed half elf ranger. The only thing missing from this trend is chainmail bikinis jewel encrusted scimitars and a Bengal Tiger for her to ride on.
